When We All Fall Down
by Judethedude99
Summary: Lizzie is on the run, feeling alone after Tom had left, she feels she has no one to turn to. Slowly, she realizes the gravity of Red's trying to protect her and she begins to understand what a "sin-eater" is and why Red has proclaimed himself to be such. A Lizzington ship story.
1. Chapter 1: The Rain

It had never occurred to her, the feeling she felt deep in her gut. This aching, churning feeling, this awful hole in her stomach. It felt like her stomach had been tied into a large knot and then suddenly, and without hesitation, was ripped out.

Looking out the window, she watched the rain as it shrouded the city. The sky was dark and the clouds seemed to hang in an ominous warning to those who stood below them. Liz felt her mind weighed down by the memories she wished she didn't have. Memories that revealed a window into her past; something she had believed with her whole being would be good, enlighten her aching, questioning mind. In fact, it had done just the opposite.

Why hasn't she listened? She wondered and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. Her eyes drooped closed in an attempt to block out the world. What world was she living in? She thought she knew, but now she was a fugitive, running from a crime she hadn't committed. Part if her believed she deserved it, that her past sins were simply catching up to her. Could it be the universe was just serving her her just punishment?

She turned away from the window with a jerk and held her head between her hands. Clutching at her hair, pulling but feeling no pain. She had killed her father! She knew the truth. She had been and was still a murderer. She'd killed a man just days ago, shot him in cold blood. She squeezed her eyes closed tighter.

She could hear Harold Cooper's voice in her head. Begging her, warning her, telling her not to shoot. She did it anyway. She could still feel the warmth of the gun against her palm after it fired, could still see the blank expression of a dead man. She could smell the stale scent of blood as it drew lines on the carpet. She ran. She'd realize the gravity if her actions in a split second and, like the fugitive she had become, she ran. Why had she run? Maybe, she thought, she should've stayed and gone to jail. If not for a true crime, at least for those she had committed.

She had quickly forgotten who she was for the simple fact had arisen, she did not know who she was anymore. She knew who her mother was, what had happened to her father. She knew answers to questions she had been harboring and to reveal nothing but a distorted reality. A reality she couldn't bare to live in. And who could she go to? Cooper was in a well of trouble because of her. All of her friends, if they even considered themselves as much, she would not dare contact. Tom... Tom was gone. He left her just as he had before and she cursed herself for believing he would do anything but just that.

She considered the prospect of running with him. Getting on his boat and sailing away, but Red was right, running off to another country, getting a new name, none of it would protect her. They would find her no matter where she was in the world.

She opened her eyes and felt that feeling in her stomach worsen. Tom, the rain. She could hear the phantom slapping of water on pavement. She'd gone to him, silenced by her sadness, soaked to the bone by the chilling rain. She could recall every embrace, every kiss, every sound, and found none of them comforting now. Where was he now? Where had he gone? How could he have just left?

Liz stood up and paced the bare room. Reddington had brought her here. He told her to stay put and if she did, no one would find her; at least for now. She was as safe as safe could be and he was off attending to "some business." What business that maybe be, she didn't want to guess.

She continued to pace, blocking out the mental images of Tom which were only replaced. She saw herself, head on Red's shoulder, her eyes closing. He didn't move, he spoke not a word as the car drove on and Liz felt the weight of her world crumbling down on top her.

The car ride seemed to last ages and she recalled Red's simple words, "I am a sin-eater, Lizzie." A sin-eater, Liz wondered how he could do it. He'd known her horrible truth all along, she'd hated him for it, but now she understood.

She spent so much time hating him with every fiber of her being. Cursing the very day he'd come into her life. Now, she didn't even know what to name the feelings she had for him.

Did her really care about her so much to shelter her from her own sins? Had he always cared? She still couldn't pin down what she thought if Red. She'd been convinced that he'd never really cared about her, but now, she questioned even that. She questioned everything she thought she knew. Part of her wanted to return to ignorance. To the days before she'd known the truth about Tom, about her mother and father, the truth about herself. And yet there was still one truth she couldn't regret for she did not know it: did Reddington care? Truly?

She was snapped back to reality when a knock came to the dodidLiz wa reluctant to go to the door, but before she had a single change to decide what action to take, the door opened and Dembe entered. He looked just a sullen as he normally did and nodded at her.

"Elizabeth," he said, his voice deep enough to shake the walls. Dembe scarcely spoke., but when he did, he commanded an air of intelligence, an air of respect even. "Raymond is waiting." That was all he needed to say.

Liz sighed and followed Dembe out of the small, suffocating room, wondering why Red had not come along with him.


	2. Chapter 2: The Long Way Down

It had never occurred to her, the feeling she felt deep in her gut. This aching, churning feeling, this awful hole in her stomach. It felt like her stomach had been tied into a large knot and then suddenly, and without hesitation, was ripped out.

Looking out the window, she watched the rain as it shrouded the city. The sky was dark and the clouds seemed to hang in an ominous warning to those who stood below them. Liz felt her mind weighed down by the memories she wished she didn't have. Memories that revealed a window into her past; something she had believed with her whole being would be good, enlighten her aching, questioning mind. In fact, it had done just the opposite.

Why hasn't she listened? She wondered and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. Her eyes drooped closed in an attempt to block out the world. What world was she living in? She thought she knew, but now she was a fugitive, running from a crime she hadn't committed. Part if her believed she deserved it, that her past sins were simply catching up to her. Could it be the universe was just serving her her just punishment?

She turned away from the window with a jerk and held her head between her hands. Clutching at her hair, pulling but feeling no pain. She had killed her father! She knew the truth. She had been and was still a murderer. She'd killed a man just days ago, shot him in cold blood. She squeezed her eyes closed tighter.

She could hear Harold Cooper's voice in her head. Begging her, warning her, telling her not to shoot. She did it anyway. She could still feel the warmth of the gun against her palm after it fired, could still see the blank expression of a dead man. She could smell the stale scent of blood as it drew lines on the carpet. She ran. She'd realize the gravity if her actions in a split second and, like the fugitive she had become, she ran. Why had she run? Maybe, she thought, she should've stayed and gone to jail. If not for a true crime, at least for those she had committed.

She had quickly forgotten who she was for the simple fact had arisen, she did not know who she was anymore. She knew who her mother was, what had happened to her father. She knew answers to questions she had been harboring and to reveal nothing but a distorted reality. A reality she couldn't bare to live in. And who could she go to? Cooper was in a well of trouble because of her. All of her friends, if they even considered themselves as much, she would not dare contact. Tom... Tom was gone. He left her just as he had before and she cursed herself for believing he would do anything but just that.

She considered the prospect of running with him. Getting on his boat and sailing away, but Red was right, running off to another country, getting a new name, none of it would protect her. They would find her no matter where she was in the world.

She opened her eyes and felt that feeling in her stomach worsen. Tom, the rain. She could hear the phantom slapping of water on pavement. She'd gone to him, silenced by her sadness, soaked to the bone by the chilling rain. She could recall every embrace, every kiss, every sound, and found none of them comforting now. Where was he now? Where had he gone? How could he have just left?

Liz stood up and paced the bare room. Reddington had brought her here. He told her to stay put and if she did, no one would find her; at least for now. She was as safe as safe could be and he was off attending to "some business." What business that maybe be, she didn't want to guess.

She continued to pace, blocking out the mental images of Tom which were only replaced. She saw herself, head on Red's shoulder, her eyes closing. He didn't move, he spoke not a word as the car drove on and Liz felt the weight of her world crumbling down on top her.

The car ride seemed to last ages and she recalled Red's simple words, "I am a sin-eater, Lizzie." A sin-eater, Liz wondered how he could do it. He'd known her horrible truth all along, she'd hated him for it, but now she understood.

She spent so much time hating him with every fiber of her being. Cursing the very day he'd come into her life. Now, she didn't even know what to name the feelings she had for him.

Did her really care about her so much to shelter her from her own sins? Had he always cared? She still couldn't pin down what she thought if Red. She'd been convinced that he'd never really cared about her, but now, she questioned even that. She questioned everything she thought she knew. Part of her wanted to return to ignorance. To the days before she'd known the truth about Tom, about her mother and father, the truth about herself. And yet there was still one truth she couldn't regret for she did not know it: did Reddington care? Truly?

She was snapped back to reality when a knock came to the dodidLiz wa reluctant to go to the door, but before she had a single change to decide what action to take, the door opened and Dembe entered. He looked just a sullen as he normally did and nodded at her.

"Elizabeth," he said, his voice deep enough to shake the walls. Dembe scarcely spoke., but when he did, he commanded an air of intelligence, an air of respect even. "Raymond is waiting." That was all he needed to say.

Liz sighed and followed Dembe out of the small, suffocating room, wondering why Red had not come along with him.


End file.
